by Ruth S. Baker

“Roger, the Ripped Kangaroo and ‘True Icon,’ has died”—CNN International

Today we said a hushed adieu
To Roger, called the Alpha Roo:
His weight was 89 kg,
His fans 1 million point 3,
His height six foot, unbowed his head,
His neck appropriately red
From rubbing trees—thus making known
That all his wives were his alone.

Oh Roger! You would flex your pecs
As few marsupials could flex;
No less impressive were your abs,
Which stood out proud like hairy slabs.
Before your bold and beefy stance,
The toughest types would turn askance—
Or else they’d rapidly intuit:
Risk rudeness with ripped roos, you’ll rue it.