by Chris O’Carroll

Old Hickory could have headed off that war,
Maybe by shrewd Trump-like negotiation.
(We know he was too tough to go in for
Some liberal failure like emancipation.)

Perhaps he would have built a wall between
The North and South to keep the war at bay,
Or cut the taxes that the Bowling Green
Massacre had made slave owners pay.

No one has worked out why the war was fought.
No scholars have explored that mystery.
Thank goodness Donald’s giving it some thought
As he and Andrew rewrite history.