by Christopher Scribner

“Secretary of State Marco Rubio… issued a cable to all U.S. Embassies and Consular agencies
[ordering pauses on interviews for student visa applications] ‘until further guidance is issued septel…’
‘Septel’ is State Dept. shorthand for ‘separate telegram.'”
—UPI

They know Signal cannot be trusted,
so the Cabinet opts to assess
the relative merits of using
Morse code or the Pony Express,
since the carrier pigeons are busy,
and carving a petroglyph’s hard,
and Rubio’s run out of minutes
on his MCI long-distance card.

The Vatican’s hogging smoke signals,
and it’s dangerous firing a flare,
and semaphore’s use has been flagging,
while drumming’s too devil-may-care.
It’s safest to issue a cable
and hope its transmission won’t jam.
Their backup’s a pantomime gesture
and if that should fail—Candy-gram!