by David Hedges
When Rudy Giuliani served
As mayor of New York,
His high esteem was undeserved.
In sum, he was a dork.
He brought his mistress home one day
To live at Gracie Mansion,
Much to his second wife’s dismay.
He oversaw expansion
Of a half-baked war on crime.
You didn’t spit for fear
You’d wind up fined and doing time,
Or sneeze if you were queer.
When 9/11 hit, he seized
The podium and basked
In lavish praise. He acted pleased
No matter what was asked
Because it meant another chance
To hog the microphone,
And do his little song and dance
Before the facts were known.
This latter trick he’s maximized
As mouthpiece for The Don.
His viewers sit there mesmerized
By how he chatters on.
Integrity’s put through the mill
Or blasted into space,
But yet again we get our fill
Of Giuliani’s face.