by Julia Griffin

“Man crowned world’s loudest person makes as much noise as a jet taking off”
—CNN

Joseph McGrail-Bateup,
An air-conditioner cleaner,
Has brought his decibel rate up
To that of a jet, but keener.
“NOW!” he bellowed, then chuckled
To hear those decibels bust out,
And units everywhere buckled
And blew accretions of dust out.
The female champion screecher,
A regular one-voiced riot,
Is one Ms Flanagan, teacher,
Who hushed Belfast with her “QUIET!”
So both came top in their classes,
And, just to show we revere them,
Let’s clink a couple of glasses
(Though neither’s likely to hear them).