by David Hedges

McConnell threw a hissy fit—
A purple people-eating snit—
When hit with hashtag Moscow Mitch.
His triple chins began to twitch,
His washboard forehead swam in sweat.
He faced an existential threat
Of monumental magnitude.
He must have realized, “I’m screwed!”
Kentucky media agreed:
His fall is all but guaranteed.
“But-but—!” he sputtered, at a loss
To weasel from his double cross.
“Please listen to the voice of reason—
It only looks and feels like treason.”