by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Gardeners urged to protect bats as numbers drop”
—PA Media

I feed the birds and foxes in my garden,
And now I want to do my bit for bats.
I’m leaving all the windfalls and the insects,
And buying some repellent for the cats.

But what if some are really nosferatu,
And someone in the block invites them in,
Believing they’re delivering a package,
Or flogging bootleg cigarettes and gin?

I’d have to be bedecked in Christian symbols,
And maybe even shave them in my hair.
If eligible women think I’m crackers,
It’s just a cross I’m going to have to bear.