by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Voters don’t believe Boris Johnson’s most controversial claims in new book, poll finds”
—The Independent

Believe in me. This modest ego trip
Of fewer than eight hundred pages will
Retell the story of my statesmanship.
In retrospect, it will appear as skill.
Spare‘s author, whom, with manly pep talks, I
Urged not to leave GB, may claim we had
No chats; the Palace may flat out deny
Liz R had sought my help; that Oxford grad
Ennobled, Dave, who fought the Brexiteer
And lost, may yet gainsay aspersions he
Slung swearingly my way; and polls, I hear,
Have found that voters too do not trust me.
Et tu, Brute? … The joke may soon hit home,
Dear reader—you have bought a rubbish tome!