by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Questions over why Boris made Charlotte Owen youngest peer grow after new investigation”
—Independent

Before I was installed as Baroness
Of somewhere you have never heard of, I
Refrained from saying much, as saying less
Ingratiated me with Tory high
Society, where if your head can bob
Sufficiently, your star can quickly rise:
Before you know it, you have bagged a job,
Advising your PM to hide his lies …
Reporters raised a stink when Boris J—
Or he who’s neither daddy nor my beau—
Nommed nine of us for lives of lordly sway.
Eight failed: they smelled too rank. But I had no
Such problem, since my résumé was blank.
So I’m a peer for life—the utmost rank!