by Nora Jay

“A Texas mayor has resigned after telling residents of his city to ‘Get off your ass and take care of your own family!’ in the face of a devastating once-in-a-generation winter storm that has killed more than 20 people across the country and left millions without power in the state. …
Amid widespread outrage Boyd has now apologized resigned and issued a more contrite statement …
‘Please understand, if I had it to do over again, I would have just kept my words to myself and if I did say them I would have used better wording and been more descriptive,’ said Boyd.”
—The Guardian

Please understand, could I now choose,
There’s better wording I would use.
The reason for this press conniption
Was clearly absence of description.
So when I said “Get off your ass,”
I meant to add “low class” and “crass”;
And by “your family,” I meant:
“Those dumb, spoiled boobs who owe you rent.”