by Brendan Beary

“Argentinian officers fired after claiming mice ate half a ton of missing marijuana”— The Guardian

Wee sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie,
Have yoursel’ a reefer feastie!
Man’s a brute, but aye, at least he
Provides ye food;
And what a food—sae crisp an’ tasty,
An’ you’re like, “Duuuuuude!”

Fra Ayrshire down to Buenos Aires,
Who but mice—ye furry faeries—
Make for better emissaries
Espousin’ pot?
(Tho’ true, now some constabulary’s
In quite a spot!)

So put some trippy tunes on then,
An’ party on—for who knows when
A buzz like this should come again?
Live in the now;
The best-laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Are like, “Oh, wow!”