by Ellen Hawley McWhirter

(With apologies to the Everly Brothers)

Buy buy gifts!
Buy buy influence!
Six-to-three, it’s a cinch.
And now it’s not a bribe!
Buy buy more gifts, buy buy!

Let’s give them vacays, let’s give them cash,
Expensive dinners, a birthday bash.
They’ll do our bidding, it’s like a dream.
We’ll court their favor, oh how supreme!

Buy buy jewels!
Bibles in public schools
We’ll change all the rules.
There’s nothing we can’t try!
Buy buy more gifts, buy buy!

No more obstruction, you’re free to go.
No women’s healthcare, Wade conquered Roe,
Mugshots are trending, and just you wait!
A few more months and we’ll make things great!

Buy buy gifts!
Buy buy influence!
Six-to-three, it’s a cinch.
And now it’s not a bribe!
Buy buy more gifts, buy buy!