Poems of the Week

Catfight

by Stephen Gold

“A glamorous suburb of San Francisco known for its village atmosphere and multimillion-dollar
mansions has come up with an audacious strategy to maintain exclusivity and allegedly keep out
social housing projects. Welcome to Woodside, California, the would-be puma habitat.”

The Times

The purpose of the mountain cat
Is to preserve the habitat
Of California’s idle rich,
Who’ll fight until the final ditch,
To categorically ensure
They never live beside the poor.

The argument that they present,
“Concern for the environment,”
Holds water like a leaky sink,
And hides what people really think:
“My neighbor absolutely sucks,
Unless he’s worth ten million bucks.”

The wealthy have the sharpest claws
For fighting pesky planning laws,
With little time for little guys,
And even less for compromise.
But maybe there’s a way to beat ‘em:
Get their new best friends to eat ‘em!