by Julia Griffin

(with acknowledgments to “Lepanto,” by G. K. Chesterton)

Red states turning like the barrel of a gun,
However many times the re-re-counts are re-re-done;
There’s laughter in the newsrooms, a voice that hoots and mocks:
It’s stirring MSNBC; it’s even stirring Fox.
Across the seas a murmur runs: “How long can he refuse?”
But down in palmy Florida,
(Golf course and private spa),
Don Don of Lostria
Is raging at the news.

The burghers of Wisconsin are standing by their votes;
The stalwart Pennsylvanians, they scorn to turn their coats;
The state that nurtured John McCain swears never to conform;
Democrats whoop Hurrah!
Ra Ra and Ooh là là!—
Don Don of Lostria
Is tweeting up a storm.

The Barr’s pursuit of voter fraud has found precisely none.
(Don Don of Lostria is twittering I WON!)
Streaky Giuliani is pacing all about,
Denouncing justices who baulk at throwing ballots out;
McConnell’s lying very low, his hand is all unshown;
Eric, etcetera,
Try to recruit for Pa:
Don Don of Lostria
Is fighting with his own.

Late-night comedians are dancing on the air
(Don Don of Lostria is plumping up his hair);
The very GOP begins to recognize the score;
But now, as sure as algebra,
Don Don of Lostria
(Denied his rightful coup d’état),
Gets set for ’24.