by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Body of a man found in a [dumpster] at Doncaster Royal Infirmary”
—Daily Mail

Old Fred requested in his will
To have an eco-funeral.
The hospital, they did it right—
He’s going to a landfill site,

Where his remains will decompose
And make a meal for gulls and crows,
Whose guano will manure the fields
And serve to boost the farmers’ yields.

Your sandwich might be made of grains
Which fed themselves on Fred’s remains,
So say a prayer and bow your head:
“Give us this day our daily Fred.”