by Julia Griffin

“Man says an intruder broke into his house, cleaned it and left.”
—CNN

Yes, an intruder came and cleaned and left.
I’d really have preferred a normal theft
Or downright smash-and-grab-style daylight robbery
To this embarrassing unpaid odd-jobbery.
The bathroom’s full of toilet-paper roses,
As if we bought the paper for our noses.
We’ve changed the locks now—no more interloping!
(The kitchen window’s open, though. Here’s hoping.)