by Julia Griffin

“Japanese man spends $15,700 on dog costume to fulfill lifelong dream
of transforming into an animal”
—Yahoo! News

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail?
And how would it work were he skinned-O,
And swapped with a humanoid male?

I love rolling round on the carpet;
I hate to be left on my own;
I long to be somebody’s star pet,
And gnaw every night on a bone.

Some meanies believe it’s just folly,
Or even a waste of good cash,
But I want to live in a collie,
And waggle my nose in your trash.

I don’t want the life of a lizard;
I don’t want the life of a lark;
I just want raw liver or gizzard,
And someone to clap when I bark.

In sniffing I’m just a beginner,
But still I’ve a nose for a sale;
So please let me in, mister skinner,
And sell me that waggly tail!