by Ruth S. Baker

“‘Fluffy’ crab that wears a sponge as a hat discovered in Western Australia
Family found a Lamarckdromia beagle specimen washed up on the beach in Denmark
in southern [Western Australia]”
—The Guardian

No crab with any chic still wears a helmet,
Enjammed upon its headpiece like a pelmet:
Those dungenesses—let them all go dunge!
Wear a sponge.

Don’t squat inside a rockpool like a hermit;
In horsehair (or whatever you may term it);
Discard those fashion blunders—just expunge!
Wear a sponge.

A horseshoe’s not aesthetically lucky;
A shelly head is really rather yucky;
Those barnacles went out with last year’s grunge!
Wear a sponge.

This summer’s look’s not blue or snow or spider;
It’s soft and downy—wrap your eyes in eider!
Go feminine this season—take the plunge!
Wear a sponge.