by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Australia: Geologist beaten up by ‘angriest octopus’ on beach”
—BBC

Down under, he who underestimates
Invertebrate intelligence may learn
Shy octopuses’ antisocial traits
Can leave him nursing welts that sting and burn! …
Off beaches you should stay if you can’t read
No-Paparazzi signs in mollusk-speak:
To film a bashful octopus you need
Express permission, or you’ll rue each streak
Neurotic arms deposit on your skin
To warn you not to post your videos—
And if you do, its discontented kin
Come back for you next year to strike more blows! …
Lest suction-disk-on-tentacle red welts
Erupt again, don’t post your film … or else!