by Julia Griffin

“‘A very poor idea’: Julia Roberts rejected Richard Curtis’s proposed Notting Hill divorce sequel.
[However,] Hugh Grant was happy to prove the lie of a happy ending for his ‘despicable’ character”
—The Guardian

When William and Anna tied the knot in Notting Hill,
A world of women wept with joy. Myself, I’m weeping still
To think that Anna—hugely rich, divine in every limb,
And famous as the Moon—should find a man as nice as him:
A man for whom his little sister’s birthday had more worth
Than some enchanted evening with the hottest date on earth;
Whose oath was “Whoopsy-Daisy!” and default reaction “Sorry”—
How fortunate the film star who could capture such a quarry!
But now it seems their author, far from being so bewitched,
Was planning out a sequel where the two would be unhitched;
And Hugh, once Will, applauded this, envisaging with glee
Unhappy children, lawyers’ tricks, and all-round misery.
So honor Anna-Julia, who still can recognize
That niceness isn’t something that the married should despise,
And gentle bookmen don’t deserve your taking of the mickey—
Not even if your bio rates 12,000 words on Wiki.
To do so ranks among those very poor ideas which
Are no less often to be found among the very rich:
A sneeriness whose value proved to be precisely nil
When William and Anna tied the knot in Notting Hill.