by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Britain’s Prince Philip, who died … at age 99, was well known for his wit, sharp tongue
and excruciating comments.”
—The Washington Post

Escorting Queen Elizabeth, I found
Dontopedalogy impelled my foot.
Its whereabouts in public were renowned:
Not often in my mouth was it not put!
Blabbed I about the Princess Royal’s life:
Unless it farts or gobbles hay, our Anne
Refuses interest! And when a wife
Gets car doors always opened by her man,
His car or else his wife is new, I’d quip!
Such humor was my way to master my
Dislike of pomp … My last trick was to skip
UK-wide hundredth birthday rites, which I
Knew I would hate—and, since I reckoned thus,
Expired before … So I dodged all the fuss!