by Julia Griffin

“Woman finds hungry elephant rummaging for late-night snack …
He chewed on a plastic bag as [Ms] Ratchadawan, unsure what to do,
filmed the episode on her phone.
It’s not the first time Boonchuay [the elephant], who lives in Thailand’s
Kaeng Krachan national park, has visited Chalermkiatpattana village.”
—The Guardian

This week one Ms. Ratchadawan
Heard someone crash and thump a pan:
Who was the kitchen hooligan?
She looked around and nearly ran:
It was a hungry elephant,
Consistently itinerant:
His trunk was wildly oscillant;
His self-control extremely scant.

Chorus
Tarara Boonchuay!
Tarara Boonchuay!
Tarara Boonchuay!
Tarara Boonchuay! [twice]

Although Ms. R. was all alone
And he, her guest, was quite full-grown,
She did not scream or shout or moan,
But clutched her trusty mobile phone,
And took some photographs of him,
Devouring plastic bags with vim:
She knew, although his teeth looked grim,
He’d never tear her limb from limb.

Chorus
Tarara Boonchuay! [etc.]

Whatever afterwards befell,
No journalist presumes to tell:
The kitchen mess was surely hell
Before the elephant’s farewell;
No doubt it cost his hostess dear
To mend her maimed domestic sphere,
But one thing anyway is clear:
Her cyber-photo souvenir.

Chorus
Tarara Boonchuay! [etc. etc. ad nauseam]