by Julia Griffin

Chuddies – Indian word for underpants
Jibbons – Welsh word for spring onions
Fantoosh – Scottish word for fancy
Sitooterie – Scottish word for a place to sit out
Bigsie – Scottish word for pretentious
Dof – Afrikaans word for foolish
—From the newly updated Oxford English Dictionary

I stopped for a bite of charcuterie
Inside a fantoosh new sitooterie:
They’d slivered their jibbons
As finely as ribbons—
It wasn’t some sort of a Hooterie.

I hoped to encounter some buddies;
The guests, though, were such fuddy-duddies,
So bigsie and dof
That they frowned and backed off—
And me in my shiny new chuddies.