by Marshall Begel

“Man Pretending to Be Captain Arrested After Stealing $8-Million Fishing Boat
with the Crew Still Aboard”
—Outdoor Life

(With apologies to Walt Whitman)

Faux Captain! my Captain! You ordered us to post.
You knew the craft from helm to aft and steered us from the coast.
You shouted out your orders and this faithful crew obeyed,
Though puzzled by your ignorance about the fishing trade.
But O gall! gall! gall!
Your masquerade was bound to fail.
At mention of the mother ship,
You doomed your ass to jail.