by Julia Griffin
“Canadian groundhog Fred la Marmotte found dead before planned prediction
Status of spring undetermined in northern Quebec after rodent prognosticator discovered dead
in burrow during festivities”
Let’s mourn the Canadian groundhog,
Fantabulous Fred la Marmotte,
That ever-predictively sound hog
Who knew what forecasters do not.
His secret researches were thorough,
He never delivered on spec,
But now he lies dead in his burrow
And all are perplexed in Quebec.
It’s minus sixteen and descending;
On Sunday some say it will snow;
But what is the point of pretending?
It’s winter, or not. We don’t know.