Poems of the Week

Ford’s Theatre Revisited

by Dan Campion

“After Mass Shootings, Republicans Expand Access to Guns”
The New York Times

If only Abe had packed a Colt
And Booth on entering the box
Had tripped or, grunting, played the ox,
And Abe had turned and shot his bolt,
A “good guy with a gun”— Suppose
That Mary too was packing heat
And in her sweeping hoop skirt rose
And plugged that dirty John Wilkes neat—
That all the crowd and cast and crew
Went armed, and aimed and shot at Booth,
And hit him (not the Lincolns too)—
A boffo show, and that’s the truth!
We think that’s what it should’ve been.
Your scene? Then vote Republican.