by Steven Kent

“Indian Couple Float To Wedding In Cooking Pot After Floods In Kerala”
—Guardian

(To the tune of “Get Me to the Church on Time”)

I’m gettin’ married in the morning
Just like a young man in my prime.
Rivers are rising;
We’re enterprising—
Get me to the church on thyme.

Rains have been falling here for hours,
Water’s too high for us to climb.
Flood of emotion;
I have a notion—
Get me to the church on thyme.

If we are tardy they’ll understand,
But we are hardy—boys, lend a hand!

Nothing can keep us from that altar;
Soon all the bells are gonna chime.
Hall’s fully booked now,
My goose is cooked now—
Get me to the church on thyme.

Our friends are doting—give them a show;
Now we are floating—come on, let’s go!

Looks like it’s gonna be our season,
Looks like today will be sublime.
Babe, we can book there,
We’ll take the cookware—
Get me to the church, get me to the church,
Please, please get me to the church on thyme.