by Nora Jay

After Nahum Tate

“US diplomats have been ordered to return to using the Times New Roman typeface in official communications, with secretary of state Marco Rubio calling the Biden administration’s decision to adopt Calibri a ‘wasteful’ diversity move, according to an internal department cable…. The department under Rubio’s predecessor Antony Blinken switched to Calibri in 2023, claiming the modern sans-serif typeface was more accessible for people with disabilities…. [The cable says the return to Times Roman will] ‘restore decorum and professionalism to the Department’s written work products and abolish yet another wasteful DEIA program…'”
—The Guardian

As consuls typed the docs assigned,
Unsure what Trump might want,
The Secretary (not that kind)
Harangued them: “Change that font!

“Decorum’s what we’re all about!
We’re back to Times Gone By!
Low-caliber Calibri’s out,
With wasteful DEI!”

Back came the Serif, whereupon
Appeared a shining wad
Of Times New Roman rants from Don,
At one remove from God.

So, shame to traitors snarling jokes
And squawking squinters, please:
All glory be to soothing strokes
On Ds and Js and Ts!