Poems of the Week

Grandma Hits the Bottle

by Chris O’Carroll

“Teenagers are using facemasks not just to avoid getting infected by coronavirus,
but also to buy alcohol from liquor shops, dressed up as elderly women.”
International Business Times

Hey, kids, want to buy some booze?
Here’s a timely trick to use:
Dress in baggy oldster clothes,
Cover up your mouth and nose
With a mask so they can’t see
You don’t look like your ID
(No clerk nowadays will ask
Someone to take off a mask),
Draw in crow’s feet by your eyes,
Add a wig to your disguise,
Use a cane and walk in slow,
Hobble out, let good times flow.
Drink until you start to feel
Past your youthful prime for real.