by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Is buying with friends the answer to a tough housing market?”
—BBC

As long as everybody pulls their weight,
And no one shirks the cooking or the cleaning,
Or always leaves the front door on the latch,
Or clatters home at 3 a.m. still steaming,

Or borrows things and has to be reminded,
Or snores all night, or doesn’t wash their clothes
As often as they should, “To save the oceans,”
And tells you while they’re looking down their nose,

Or slopes around au naturel, or has
A very noisy love life, or possesses
Some strange ideas regarding hygiene, and
Insists we all have self-ablutive tresses,

Or plays the drums or saxophone or bagpipes,
Or has a thing for quoting Captain Kirk,
Or any of a million pesky foibles,
Then, damn it all, I think it just might work!