by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Bird flu, extreme heat and super gonorrhoea: The top health threats facing Britain”
—The Telegraph

I don’t think gonorrhea will
Be half the threat they say,
If Britain gets much hotter than
The heatwave back in May.

When I was wilting in the heat
And cursing its effects,
The farthest subject from my mind
Was hot and sweaty sex.