by Nora Jay

“Ex-Trump adviser… Larry Kudlow grumbles that Biden’s climate policies
would force Americans to drink ‘plant-based beer’…”
—The Guardian

(To the tune of “Goober Peas”)

Sitting in a Fox hole, full of peeve and bile,
Larry lists some foodstuffs absolutely vile:
Biden’s banning burgers—Armageddon’s here—
Mourn your Independence, drinking plant-based beer.

Beer, beer, beer, beer,
Drinking plant-based beer.
Goodness how pernicious,
Drinking plant-based beer.

COVID’s close to air-tight—well, it used to be;
Now they’ve got us masked, so nobody is free.
Yearning for some poultry? Too late now, I fear:
Lick your own sad fingers, drinking plant-based beer.

Beer, beer, beer, beer,
Drinking plant-based beer.
Goodness how seditious,
Drinking plant-based beer.