Poems of the Week

Hot Stuff in the Saudi Desert

by Orel Protopopescu

“Camels ejected from beauty contest over Botox use and other ‘tampering'”

If you own a dromedary,
long of neck and not too hairy
that possesses sexy eyes,
it might win a pricy prize:
Millions for a camel beauty
judges deem a hot patootie
worthy of Abdulaziz.
But beware their expertise!

Turquoise eyes? I’ll lose my senses!
Freak of nature? Contact lenses!
Such long lashes! How they coil!
Lash extensions? Castor oil?
Check these ballet legs, what killers!
Have they been enhanced by fillers?
And that rump! Just too delicious?
Bootyliciously suspicious?

Don’t put lipstick on your camel
or resort to nail enamel,
hormones, silicone or stretching
to make stiffened limbs more fetching.
Only fools dream they’ll outfox
wily experts with Botox.
They are rarely ever stumped.
Kiss of death! Were those lips plumped?