by Nina Parmenter

“Technology to remove the planet-warming greenhouse gas CO2 from our atmosphere
must be urgently ramped up, leading climate experts say in a new report.”
—BBC News

How do we deal with carbon? In the end,
you’ll all agree that cutting back’s insane.
Renewables cost money we could spend
on shoes! (Plus, solar panels are a pain.)
Electric cars need plugs and wires and stuff,
and as for make and mend, well, where’s the joy?
No. When you’ve thought about it long enough,
you’ll work it out. It’s clear we should employ
a team of Oompa Loompas with a hose,
a carbon-scrubber lashed to every bee
(assuming that there’s any left of those),
and fleets of rockets that will guiltlessly
blast all the crud to Mars! (Unless you’re strange
enough to think we’re capable of change.)