by Julia Griffin

“Black hole vomits years after gobbling up a star”
—Mashable

(To the tune of “When You Wish Upon a Star”)

When you gobble up a star
You’ll be less than popular:
Undigested spheroids will
Repeat on you;
Since that hot, plasmatic mass
Obviously gives you gas,
When you gobble up a star
Your fans are few.
See this lens we’re peering through?
You are vividly in view:
When you gobble up a star,
Please learn to chew.