by Nora Jay
“Frozen iguanas forecast to shower south Florida as temperatures drop
[W]ildlife conservationists recommend not touching frozen iguanas, as they may thaw unexpectedly and feel threatened if a person comes close to them.”
O Florida! In August, all bananas;
In January, gellified iguanas.
Floridians are primed to be accosted
This month by reptiles, keen to be defrosted;
Experts, however, warn against succumbing.
The temperature’s not harmful, only numbing,
And when iguanas’ blood once more is moving,
You’ll find their attitude needs some improving.
You’d think they might be wheezing out hosannas;
But gratitude is foreign to iguanas,
And what could be more irksome, in a blizzard,
Than being threatened by a chilly lizard?