by Ruth S. Baker

“[P]ig starts farm fire by excreting pedometer …
The North Yorkshire fire and rescue service said the fire was caused by ‘nature taking its course’
and copper from the pedometer battery reacting with dry hay and the pigpen’s contents.
The pedometer was being used to prove the animal was free range
and had been taken off one of its fellow pigs.
No animals were harmed as a result of the fire.” 
—The Guardian

According to North Yorkshire’s rescue force,
The fire was caused when nature took its course:
Pedometers, it seems, light up like cigs
When defecated by unwary pigs.

Although the beast met no impediment
While voiding pedometric excrement,
It proved that ranging freely may be trouble,
And that pedometers are execrable.