by Philip Kitcher

“College Presidents slammed…”
“Karl Rove rips Hunter Biden…”
“KJP blows up when pressed…”
“Paige Spiranac fires back…”
“Republicans blast Biden…”
“Tim Allen slammed by ‘The Santa Clauses’ co-star”
—Fox News Headlines

Lamestream media’s silence may charm.
Here at Fox, we must sound the alarm.
For we think it’s high time
People learned about crime,
And the rate of Gross Bodily Harm.