by Thomas DeFreitas

(To the tune of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” theme)

Punxsutawney’s seen his shadow!
That means six more weeks of chill—
Stuck inside with Kimmel, Maddow,
Pringles, Netflix: what a thrill!
Icy gales and storms beleaguer;
Coffee’s guzzled by the vat.
All this cold stuff makes me eager
For the flowers of Easter, stat!

Philip, you’re a knavish rascal,
You’re a fiendish prankster, you:
Winter-woodchuck-Eddie-Haskell,
Bane of February Two!
Vernal-veto, hope-defeater,
Groundhog-gremlin, Imbolc-imp:
As I watch the thermo-meter,
Through a shivering Lent I limp!

Punxsy, old prognosticator,
With you I’ve a bone to pick:
Why must snowflakes linger later?
I want blossoms, super-quick!
Soon enough we’ll have soft breezes,
Green leaves, bright skies: all that’s great!
But how biting are the freezes
In this slow month’s twenty-eight!