by Jerome Betts

“Universities must act to eradicate discrimination
against working-class students, including the
mockery of regional accents, equality
campaigners have said.”
—The Guardian

Those whose forbears cried “Yoicks!”
Look down on the oiks
Who pronounce “bikes” as “boikes”?

They deem even a don
As more goose than swan
If a “one” comes out “wan”?

Although not Dick Van Dyke
Let us speak as we like
Scouse, Brummie or Tyke.

To let student life be
Language barrier free
Shed the yoke of RP

And from Bucks, Hants and Wilts
To the land of the kilts,
Welcome burrs, brogues and lilts!