by Stephen Gold

“Woman ‘defrauded US company to buy Scottish kilt and gift cards’.”
—The Times

She took the cash, then made a dash
For Scotland’s chilly clime
(Allegedly, although her plea
Is there has been no crime).

The moral’s clear, so listen here:
When thievery’s asserted,
Don’t don the kilt, it may prove guilt—
Our laws must not be skirted.