by Steven Kent

“Supreme Court justice Thomas took 38 undisclosed vacations from rich friends”
—The Guardian

(To the tune of Cole Porter’s “Love for Sale“)

When the only folks I find about
Are rich men with their wallets out,
That’s when my bags I pack;
I don’t look back.
And I say nothing, heaven knows,
About these trips I don’t disclose—
The secret’s safe with me,
As all can see.

Law for sale,
Every kind of case law for sale:
Law to give the donor class
Stuff the House won’t even pass.
Law for sale.

Who will pay?
Who’s my benefactor today?
If you have a pending tort,
Buy a buddy on the Court.
Law for sale.

Let the likes of Harlan Crow underwrite my jaunts;
We’re compadres, don’t you know—he gets what he wants,
For we share so many cares,
Me and all these billionaires.
New law, old law,
I do what I’m told. Law

for sale.
Enterprising me! Law for sale.
Own a private jet or yacht?
Come and show me what you’ve got.
Law for sale.