Poems of the Week

Law for Sale

by Steven Kent

“Supreme Court justice Thomas took 38 undisclosed vacations from rich friends”
The Guardian

(To the tune of Cole Porter’s “Love for Sale“)

When the only folks I find about
Are rich men with their wallets out,
That’s when my bags I pack;
I don’t look back.
And I say nothing, heaven knows,
About these trips I don’t disclose—
The secret’s safe with me,
As all can see.

Law for sale,
Every kind of case law for sale:
Law to give the donor class
Stuff the House won’t even pass.
Law for sale.

Who will pay?
Who’s my benefactor today?
If you have a pending tort,
Buy a buddy on the Court.
Law for sale.

Let the likes of Harlan Crow underwrite my jaunts;
We’re compadres, don’t you know—he gets what he wants,
For we share so many cares,
Me and all these billionaires.
New law, old law,
I do what I’m told. Law

for sale.
Enterprising me! Law for sale.
Own a private jet or yacht?
Come and show me what you’ve got.
Law for sale.