by Stephen Gold

“Plan for only two patrol cars to cover all roads in Scotland… between 3 am and 7 am”
—The Times

Hello! Police! There’s been a crash,
You’ve got to send a crew!
The road to Auchtermuchty’s blocked,
We don’t know what to do!

Don’t panic Sir, we’re on our way
To get you out your fix.
Right now, it’s just gone 3 pm,
We’ll rush to you by 6.