by Simon MacCulloch

“Designer… sentenced to prison for smuggling crocodile and python handbags.”
—The Guardian

The law, it seems, allows
For handbags made of cows,
But has you breaking rocks
For handbags made of crocs.

You’re better selling fakes
Than handbags made of snakes,
For what we all espouse
Is handbags made of cows.

So if you care to browse
The fashions, think of cows,
Whose deeply plaintive moo
Is how they think of you.