by Bruce Bennett

“Need an excuse to give your family a little extra
love? Well, mark your calendars and celebrate
National Gorgeous Grandma Day, National
Cousins Day, National Aunt and Uncle Day,
and National Parents’ Day over the next week!”
—from National Today, the internet’s #1
authority on holidays

Hey, Gorgeous Grandma, here’s your day.
Hey, Cousin, here’s yours too.
Just climb aboard! We’ll find a way
to name a day for you!

What’s that? You think it’s all a con?
You claim it’s just a ploy?
What kind of downer are you on?
Why turn your back on joy?

Why miss the chance to celebrate
what everyone can share?
You pick the time. You pick the date.
So what if no one’s there?

Go on. Express your spite, your doubt,
your anti-social dudgeon.
But know. We have your day picked out.
The Day of the Curmudgeon.