Poems of the Week

Near-Fatal Attraction

by Catherine Chandler

“Anti-Vaxx Doctor Believes ‘Magnetized’ Covid Vaccinations Cause Keys,
Forks and Spoons to Stick to People”

I thought that she’d had one too many,
the remarkable Dr. Tenpenny,
who believes that vaccines
magnetize people’s genes
and connect with the 5G antennae.

The idea seemed kooky and eerie,
yet I thought I would test out her theory;
since I’d had both my jabs
from the BioNTech labs,
What’s to lose? I thought, scornful and leery.

So I held up a knife to my arm;
then exclaimed in dismay and alarm:
for the damned thing had stuck!
The experiment worked like a charm!

I continued this trial balloon
with a fork and a spork and a spoon.
Why, this doc is a winner!
I’m all set for dinner!
For good measure, I’m fully immune!