by Julia Griffin
“The illusionist Uri Geller has called on the British people to help him in his efforts to telepathically stop Brexit by sending their own telepathic messages to Theresa May’s mind, compelling her to revoke article 50.”
—The Guardian
Though Britain’s head’s beleaguered head
Is fraught with loony tunes,
It soon may entertain instead
The lord of bending spoons:
Inside Theresa’s bludgeoned mind,
That dark and groaning cellar,
She’s scheduled presently to find
The words of Uri Geller,
A means of contact (not a joke
And not remotely shifty)
Which will compel her to revoke
The clause that’s numbered 50.
He also plans to visualize
A second referendum
(If any spoons confront his eyes,
It’s possible he’ll bend ’em.)
The British, he goes on to urge,
Should join him in his labors
And telepathically converge
With all their friends and neighbors
To offer Mrs. May a boon:
A message, not in cipher;
If this should come with hints of spoon,
At least a spoon won’t knife her.