by Stephen Gold

“It may be offensive to say ‘husband’ or ‘wife,’ council staff told.”
—The Times

Don’t say “husband” or “wife.”
In today’s diverse life,
Terms like these may cause grievous offense.
And equally bad is to say “Mum” or “Dad.”
Say “caregiver.” You know it makes sense.

In less sensitive times,
Fewer cultural crimes
Would arise to cause strife and make waves.
When I’m faced with this zeal,
Should I fight it, or kneel?
My caregivers would turn in their graves.