by Ruth S. Baker

“Austrian official warns against ‘cow-kissing’ challenge for charity.”
—HuffPost

When it’s blowing from the south,
Kiss no cow upon the mouth.
Easterlies are fine for ships:
Not for kissing bovine lips.
Self-control in this is best,
Till the wind be in the west;
While there’s still a northern breeze,
Do not snog the cattle, please.